a lil bit more lucky.

so when you're finally for a couple of hours alone you could actually do something.

you could finally write something, what would not that directly concerned your situation.

well, as I am finnaly alone for a couple of hours actually I could read something instead of listening to sting and analyzing my feelings and my mood, couln't I?

so, as I am not able to write anything at least a bit more universal I could at least read something. or watch video, youtube is such a huge space to get lost in

of course there is nothing complicated in the situation and it's nothing special in the lack of ability to focus and finally do something. first of all: there is no situation. she's just a lil bit more lucky and i'm just a lil bit more fucked. second of all: I would prefer not to be here anymore I guess, it's been alreay 33 days and there's still like 28 more to go and all that it means in this time of year is lack of the voyage out this year. 

[fuck, man, no i got really pissed]

well, damn, there is a situation inside here, there are questions and there's fucking sadness, a lil bit of frustration, a lil bit of anxiety, a lil bit of pure anger and disappointment and even though there was lost of talking lately going on this should be said in different way, this should be told to somebody else and I would just love to do it and not take any fucking excuses as an argument. 

może ja po prostu pójdę spać. taki piękny dzień na kimę.